The Call

Well, I don't really know where to begin this post. There is so much stuff going through my head right now, many different thoughts, and I'm trying to work through all of it. We'll see.

This Saturday I'm headed back home, then I'm flying out to LA on the 20th. Man am I excited. I cannot wait to hit the ground running out there and see where I'm taken. Until then, I'm trying to take advantage of this last week here in the nati. Unfortunately I still have some work I'm having to do thats due tomorrow and thursday, but it's not too bad. I've had some solid hanging out time already, and will be continuing that all week for sure.

So one of the things thats been on my mind and heart has been my hope that in LA I'll be able to start up some really solid friendships besides those at work. Well, I've been praying about it, and a week or two ago I found out that I will be living with a bunch of UCLA students in Westwood. Actually I found out I will be living in a three bedroom apartment with seven or so other guys. Luckily, I really do want to foster relationships with as many people as I can, so I'm excited for it. Sure, it'll pretty much be like Daniels Hall: the sequel, but I can live without some space if I'm getting to know cool guys. Plus I hear UCLA's campus is beautiful, so I'm sure I'll be going there for some quiet time and relaxation once in a while.

I'm learning a lot about love and relationships lately. Today I had lunch with a friend of mine who explained to me how he sees love. His beliefs and the stuff going on in his life just about blew my mind. It was so counter to everything the world teaches us about love and dating and relationships. I'm in the process of developing a lot of my ideas about love and relationships and working out what I believe, and I have definitely been forced to redefine what it means to truly and completely love another person. It's been really crazy how much I've learned about relationships and connecting with and supporting another person from the non-romantic relationships I've been developing and growing. It is awesome.

I saw Prince Caspian on Saturday night, which I had pretty much figured I would have to just wait and see on dvd, but I was really glad I went, it was great. Once of my favorite lines in the movie came towards the end When Aslan is talking to everybody. I don't know the exact quote from the movie, but here's the line's equivalent right from the pen of C.S. Lewis:

"Welcome, Prince," said Aslan. "Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?"
"I-I don't think I do, Sir," said Caspian. "I'm only a kid."
"Good," said Aslan. "If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not."

Although in the movie Caspian isn't nearly as young as he is in the book, that line really stood out to me. It has a lot to say about humility and pride (the subject of the new series at crossroads, which I'm very bummed I'll be missing), and the fact that without our realizing it, God strengthens us and prepares us in ways we can't and probably are better off not knowing. We are capable of so little, if anything, on our own without God.

I have a lot that is going to be difficult and challenging coming at me now and even more in the coming weeks and months, and it is encouraging to know that I am not alone in any of this. I have been given what I need to not just get through stuff, but prosper and grow in it.

It seems to be that the idea of being satisfied and content is on the minds and heart of a lot of people lately, and I am definitely one of them. I thought I was feeling pretty content with God last week, but the weekend showed me that I am not as satisfied as I'd like to be. That being said, I have had huge moments of peace and contentment over the past week. I don't know where I'm going next, but I am working to be truly satisfied with God.

I'm all of a sudden really tired. I'm going to leave you all with the lyrics to the song at the end of Prince Caspian, called "The Call," by Regina Spektor. I bought the soundtrack last night and the song is just so beautiful musically and lyrically. I'm not totally sure how much of the song I am applying to where I'm at right now. Maybe a lot of it relates to me right now. Whatever the case, it's powerful stuff. Check it out.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

So I guess I don't really have a lot figured out at the moment. That's okay, I know what's really important. The rest will come in time.

Hey, I love you all. Thanks for being there for me.


Alex